Some evenings and musings look normal, but they are not.
It was an evening wherein I learned to live life a little better (it is always lucky to have an authentic, grounded partner who looks at life with a verve like I have never seen anyone do.)
These are the four things that she taught and reminded me of last evening.
NUMBER 1
Your moods and vibes are CONTAGIOUS – ACT accordingly.
Yes, it is human to feel angry, anxious, confused, and clueless;
Yes, it is human to catch vibes, become uneasy, and still amplify them (the bad vibes especially);
Yes, it is human to become overwhelmed when such a thing happens and be made to feel that you are behaving awkwardly.
BUT.
It is not human and loving to put your loved ones into these moods and vibes simply because you didn’t realize that your moods (and vibes) are contagious.
Catching vibes is easy (oh! It is OK to be vulnerable and have your guards down with your loved ones).
That’s why while responding to an angry loved one – YOU BECOME ANGRY (watch your tone, buddy!)
Not catching the bad ones takes energy – don’t put your loved ones do 10X work of holding themselves when you can watch your vibes.
NUMBER 2
Having fun at the expense of your loved one is a bad idea of having fun.
I don’t know when and how did all this become acceptable and normal?
How can you put your loved ones feel inadequate, unappreciated, and incompetent?
Yes, maybe all of us have done it or are doing it without knowing that it makes people close down and hold grudges.
STOP that SHIT – THIS IS BULLYING.
Putting your loved ones in awkward spots is going to hurt them bad and for long.
Stop putting your loved ones in awkward spots because of what others are doing.
Whether you are a parent, elder or younger sibling, partner, or a friend – STOP bullying your loved ones.
The inner circle is meant to instill confidence, exude comfort, and develop courage – JUST DO THAT.
Once they say NO- take it as NO.
Once they say Yes, but I am confused – Take it as YES.
NUMBER 3
Having something and ‘doing something meaningful with it’ are TWO different things.
Whether it is time, energy, opportunity to love, help, share, travel, live a good life, embrace life, gain wisdom, health or the one to be happy;
Whether it is data, knowledge, resources, or insight, having it and putting it to good use are two different things.
So, don’t be proud of just what you have but be mindful of what all you can do with it.
NUMBER 4
If you don’t know what happiness means to you – you are forever going to be unhappy.
If I were to know one just secret this year – this is it.
What makes me happy?
Not what just makes me accepted (socially) or climb the virtual ladder, and
Not a list of things that I am made to believe will make me happy.
She brought my attention to people I had seen on the roadside or at the airports.
It is not tons of things that make you happy.
It is the gratitude, purpose, love, peace, shared silence, assurance of being in a safe space, food when you are hungry, good health, the well-being of your loved ones, not having to deal with lousy vibe generators, a garden, books, sunlight, rain, and the petrichor, and holding hands – here is our definition of happiness.
Find yours, and you will be happier for sure.
What did your partner teach you about life?
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Love Gone Right – 03 Things you need to know about it.